WYSIWYG
by Coach on Aug.09, 2010, under Perception
What you see is what you get. Have you ever heard that before? How about this one, “don’t judge a book by its cover.” Which of these two saying do you subscribe to?
This week I am reminded of the old saying “what you see is what you get”. Loved ones. who are trapped in their destructive patterns, are demonstrating the “true-ness” of this fact.
For example, if you believe that people are generally selfish and only out for themselves, then in your experience with people, their behavior, will always resemble that of selfish people. If you believe that someone loves you, then no matter how much they hurt you, you will always see them as loving, regardless of how hurtful their behavior. This type of belief is what gets a lot of teenage girls into pregnancy troubles. Taylor Swift’s song “Fifteen” from her Fearless album sums it up like this… “Cause when you’re fifteen and somebody tells you they love you, you’re gonna believe them.” This is as true for a 15 year old as it is for a 50 year old. Your experience, what you see, is what you get in life. That is how life works. This is evidenced in the saying, “I’ll believe it when I see it.” This sort of thinking is the validation that takes place in your mind to prove to you that you are right to believe what you believe. But the truth is that you’ll “see it when you believe it”.
So, what are you? Do you need to see something before you’ll believe it? Or, are you a believer that sees BECAUSE you believe. Regardless of what you think you believe, everybody falls into the second category here. Even those who say, “I’ll believe it when I see it”, only see it because they believe it.
Be aware of this… it may be a paradigm shift for you to accept. But, if you take the time to evaluate what is being presented here, you’ll soon come to believe that what you see is what you get. And, if you don’t like what you see, then change what you believe.
More on this topic in coming blogs. Until then, I implore you to live the life you deserve and live it with passion!
The Blind Side
by Coach on Aug.09, 2010, under The Blind Side
The Blind Side. What is it? To some, The Blind Side is the blockbuster movie that depicts the story of Michael Oher’s meteoric rise to stardom in NFL. To others, The Blind Side is the blockbuster movie starring Sandra Bullock. To my wife, The Blind Side is the blockbuster movie starring country music superstar, Tim McGraw. For me, the blind side is anything 58 degrees past the left side of my nose. I’m only half joking about what the blind side is to me… and my wife.
For the purpose if this website, the blind side is that which is just 1 to 2 milimeters outside of our field of vision, or what is outside our realm of information. Just because something is happening outside of your knowledge doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. Sometimes, even when it’s within our field of vision, we tend to miss it. It happens all the time.
When I refer to our “field of vision”, I’m referring to more than just what we see with our eyes. I’m referring to our understanding, and our experience in general. I’ve touched, briefly, on the power of focus in previous posts and I believe that there is immense power in our ability to maintain focus. Think of a laser… a beam of concentrated light. Light waves that are working together in a single “focused” direction can be both destructive and healing. Look at the role lasers play in medicine these days.
Oh the other hand, you wouldn’t illuminate an entire room with a laser as a light source. Anything not in the direct trajectory of a laser is in “the blind side”. Again, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, it just means you can’t see it. The light given off by the laser beam may illuminate an object enough to make out the outline of the object, but can you really understand what that object is by just seeing an outline.
My point… become aware of your blind side. Acknowledge that it exists and find it. It’s not just a physical place. It’s a metaphorical place where things escape you. As you become acquainted with your blind side work to make it smaller. Illuminate your blind side with occasional focus. Your world will become so much more vivid when you begin to see things that you missed before and give what’s most important to you the most attention.
More on this topic in coming blogs. Until then, I implore you to live the life you deserve and live it with passion!
Is it Spring yet?
by Coach on Mar.15, 2010, under Just For Fun
I wanted to share the following with you. It’s an old Spanish folksong. I don’t speak spanish, but I learned how to sing this song in 10 minutes. It’s a beautiful, catchy tune. I’m not gonna share with you, at least not now, where I learned it or why. But with spring just around the corner, I couldn’t be selfish and keep this gift to myself. I’m teaching my daughters this song too, so we can all sing it together.
I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
De colores, de colores
Se visten los campos en la primavera.
De colores, de colores
Son los pajarillos que vienen de afuera.
De colores, de colores
Es el arco iris que vemos lucir.
Y por eso los grandes amores
De muchos colores me gustan a mi.
Y por eso los grandes amores
De muchos colores me gustan a mi.
Jubilosos, jubilosos
Vivamos en gracia puesto que se puede.
Saciaremos, saciaremos
La sed ardorosa del Rey que no muere.
Jubilosos, jubilosos
Llevemos a Cristo un alma y mi mas.
Difundiendo la luz que ilumina
La gracia divina del gran ideal.
Difundiendo la luz que ilumina
La gracia divina del gran ideal.
Canta el gallo, canta el gallo
Con el quiri, quiri, quiri, quiri, quiri.
La gallina, la gallina
Con el cara, cara, cara, cara, cara.
Los polluelos, los polluelos
Con el pio, pio, pio, pio, pi.
Y por eso los grandes amores
De muchos colores me gustan a mi.
Y por eso los grandes amores
De muchos colores me gustan a mi.
Have fun singing this or translating it.
De Colores
Congruency
by Coach on Mar.02, 2010, under Perception
Congruency! What does it mean? Why is it so important? Congruency goes deeper than just body language or consistency. To be congruent, your subconscious and conscious minds must be in harmony and “synched” with each other. A lie detector can pick up whether your conscious and subconscious minds are congruent. Imagine, for a minute, that while you are saying “YES”, your head is nodding back and forth “NO”. Is that congruent? Of course not! Nodding your head up and down while saying “yes” would be an example of congruency, right? Typically, the nodding of your head might be a reflex of your subconscious mind. You may not even know you’re doing it.
As I was watching the finale of The Bachelor last night, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. No, I don’t care that Jake chose Vienna instead of Tenley. I was amazed, however, how when Vienna was speaking to Jake’s family, his sister-in-laws and his mother, she would nod her head back in forth (like she was saying no) when she talked about how much she loved him. If you are familiar with NLP eye accessing cues, then you saw how she would say something in her mind (look down and to the right), then construct the image of what she was saying (look up and to the left), and finally make eye contact with who she was talking to while saying (whatever she was thinking) and nodding her head no. Vienna wasn’t the only one who had that problem. Jake had a case of the “incongruencies” while speaking with Vienna too. As Jake was telling Vienna how much of a “wonderful person” she was and how much he “loved her”, Jake’s head was like a shutter in a wind storm blowing back and forth. I’m not suggesting that either Jake or Vienna were lying, but I do believe that neither one of them believed, themselves, what they were saying. Tenley, on the other hand was pretty congruent in her confusion. And I applaud her for addressing the “unfairness” to both girls regarding how the “winner of Jake’s heart” gets a man who’s conflicted about which one he loves… more?
I don’t want to turn this into a post all about The Bachelor, but I want to point out that in our personal dealings… every day… we sometimes send mixed messages. Sometimes our physiology, the way we move our body, doesn’t match the words we are using. And most importantly, we are not aware we are incongruent. In poker, this is called a “tell”. My advice… become aware. Work on making sure that you body, physically, sends the same message that your words are sending. For example, if you are trying to convey a sense of confidence, don’t sit or stand with your shoulders slouched. Stand upright with shoulders back and chin up. Don’t force a smile through gritted teeth when you want to scowl. Your words, their tone, and your physiology tell the complete story. Make sure it’s the story you really want told. Incongruency, like a “tell” in poker, makes you transparent.
Now, whether the person you’re communicating with understands the story you are attempting to share is the subject of another post at another time.
Until then, I implore you to live the life you deserve and live it with passion!!!
Starting from Scratch
by Coach on Feb.26, 2010, under Passion
I find it appropriate to start this post with, not only the title of this entry, but the subject of the entry itself. Starting from Scratch, a home based business, specializing in baked desserts ranging from cheesecakes to gluten & dairy free products.
Susan, the owner, has such a passion for baking that when the opportunity presented itself, she jumped on the chance to create a niche for herself in the baked goods market. Operated right out of her home, Starting from Scratch is, quite literally, a kitchen table small business. Susan’s business strategy is simple, “tell me what you want, and I’ll bake it for you.” What started with a handful of specialty cheesecakes has blossomed into a line of baked goods that border on exotic, all the way down to chocolate chip cookies. If you have an allergy, no problem, Susan knows exactly which ingredients to substitute. And don’t worry, she even has a dedicated set of utensils for the creation of such allergy-free treats.
Starting from Scratch is an example of what it means to live your passion… a true labor of love. And love is what you get when you order something from Susan. I’ve been lucky enough to sample some of the delicious cheesecakes, cupcakes and cookies that Susan sells. And I have ordered Starting from Scratch products to be sent as gifts to my friends and clients as well. I find that when someone does something well, it’s infectious and makes you want to be a part of it.
Yes, Susan is a friend of mine, and I assure you that her friendship in no way influences my opinion of her business or the quality of her baked goods. I have received nothing, except 20 years of friendship from Susan. I would hope that you would experience for yourself the delicious items Starting from Scratch offers. Don’t just take me word for it, do your own research. And, if your values include “doing what you love“, then please support this small business owner who shares your values and does what she loves.
You can find Starting from Scratch online through Facebook (www.facebook.com) . The Fan Page is Starting from Scratch.
As one of my mentors, Anthony Robbins, says at the end of every seminar, webinar, speaking engagement, and CD… “Live with PASSION!”
